How My Empty Soul Found {The Good} Life In Jesus.

March 30, 2015

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so I thirst for you, O God.” Psalm 42:1

At a Tupperware party the other night {yes, I am totally sold on Tupperware!}, flicking through the latest catalogue, the theme was “The Good Life”. Pictures of happy housewives, welcoming people into their home, serving them on beautiful products from Tupperware. Everyone is smiling, having a nice time. The children are laughing, the home is spacious and decorative, and the mother is looking at the camera with an expression that says, “My life is complete. And Tupperware made that come true.”

I know that the editors of Tupperware are trying to put across that if you work for them, you really will get the good life. Flexibility, free products, good income – – ha, looks like I’m trying to sell it! But really, it just made me smile. Do they honestly think that my life will be that good if I invest in Tupperware and brand my life with it?

Sometimes I feel like advertisers of companies and products think we – the market – are a bit dumb. Yes, we are like sheep and tend to go where everyone else goes, but we’re not so stupid that we would actually believe that drinking cola, wearing that perfume, flying that airline {etc} will make our lives complete. The older I get the more I see that actually, advertisers are smart. Really smart. Why?

They play on our emptiness. Or what Christians call, the God-shaped hole in our hearts.

We’re all thirsting. We’re all panting, from our depths, for something to make us feel really, really good – complete in every aspect of our beings. And we all turn towards other things – idols – to fill that gap. I did and I still do, despite following Jesus with a passion.

Before God got hold of me, when I came to the end of myself and couldn’t look into my heart without disgust and abhorance, boys and making myself look attractive for them was what I did to fill that hole. Making myself a bag of bones, wearing clothing that made guys look at me, dating guys even if I didn’t really like them, and sleeping with some of them, was what consumed me. I went to school, had a job, then went to university – but all that propelled me was that satisfied feeling when a guy looked at me and thought, “She’s hot”.

At my lowest point, seventeen/eighteen-years-old, I wondered in fear where I would end up. The hunger and emptiness were so strong and consumed so much of me that I thought I would probably end up pregnant, selling my soul or dead. I knew I had a way to go before that happened, but it frightened me to my very core.

The faith that I had in God and Jesus Christ were just as strong as when I had been five-years-old, but I knew I wasn’t a Christian. I wanted to be a Christian – I knew that was the answer to my problems – but I didn’t think I could do it. The drive for attention from boys was stronger than any drive I had to be faithful. So I cried out to God, like the man to Jesus:

“I do believe! Help me with my unbelief!” {Mark 9:24}

I came to Him, broken, sick, disgusting and unclean. The little but fierce faith I had, I put in His hands and asked Him to save me. I couldn’t save myself. There was nothing I could do to make myself well or quench the controlling desires in my broken soul. I cried out to Him, “Save me! Make me well! Help me. Help me.”

“Jesus said to them, ‘It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” {Mark 2:17}

Friends, if you do not know God, in Jesus, but desire Him to save you from yourself, to cure you from your waywardness, to rescue you from your heart’s rebellion – turn to Him. He delights in saving those who cry out to Him for help, whose heart is genuine in it’s belief {however big or small} and who recognises their need for Him.

He will quench your thirst. He will give you an abundance of love, grace and mercy. Remember Him this Easter – He’s the one who will give you the good life. The real good life.


The family and I are off for Easter weekend so the blog will be quiet until next week. Have a blessed Easter with love and family and friends and the real reason we celebrate it.

  1. Thank you Alyssa! I am so grateful for the story of my life that God has written, despite the lows and shame. But my favourite word in the Christian-ese dictionary is “redemption”. God redeemed me, and I love telling others how He did, in Jesus.

  2. Thank you for sharing this encouragement on the Art of Home-Making Mondays! I know it is often hard to share our past life before Him but I am sure many will be inspired by this.

  3. They play on our emptiness. Or what Christians call, the God-shaped hole in our hearts. Love this statement…so much out there plays on our emptiness and the only way to get filled with every lasting water is to come to Him. And continue to come to Him on a daily bases. One of the things that was hard returning to stateside living was this thinking we need more stuff to make our life complete. Yet we only show how empty our life is when we continue to invest our time, money our lives in things that will not fill us, but in fact only leave us wanting more. It's a lifestyle of the ease and easy to get in developed countries. If this makes me happy, then more of it will make me happier. Great post.

  4. Sarah…Thank you for sharing your story at Monday's Musings. It isn't easy to be transparent about our past but I hope your story will encourage others to seek Jesus as their all in all. Blessings.

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