Faith amp; The Gospel

Making Home the Anchor of Family Life {And the Struggle to Do So}.

June 20, 2015
As I am growing as a wife and mother, my conviction that our home is the anchor-point of our family’s life deepens. This is from my own broken background, my search of the Scriptures and just a sense that, in this busy-busy society, children need a safe haven, a place where they feel completely safe, sheltered and able to grow at their own pace and in their own interests. 
Yet, despite conviction, it’s not always easy maintaining the majority of our time at home.

The Pull Outwards

There are always errands to run, shopping to be done, church commitments to keep, friendships to grow and interaction with other peers for the children. There always seems to be something that needs to draw me out of the home. Most of the time, these are necessary things but, sometimes, I feel the pressure to be part of outside groups. Bible studies, play groups, music groups, library groups, coffee groups. There seems to be groups for all kinds of aspects of a wife and mother’s life, and that there is an unspoken expectation that a Christian wife must be a apart of all of them – not just for her, but for the “socialisation” of children.
There are some days too, where my spirit is just restless. I’ve been home too much or have been out too much, and something in me feels itchy. When I’m like that, I’m more likely to drag the kids around, spend money on things we don’t really need, get behind on chores. This is a struggle for me and it’s something I’ve been more conscious of recently and which I am working on, through God’s strength and grace.

Looking Well?

Recently, the Lord has been laying on my heart this verse from the Proverb 31 woman:
“She looks well to the ways of her household,
and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.” {vs 27}
Now that I am getting full night sleep {praise the Lord for that!} and I am clearer-headed, more energised and more emotionally stable, it’s time for me to move back into intentionality in the home. When you have a newborn or children not sleeping well, it’s all about survival and doing what works. But there comes a time where there really is no excuse to be made when it comes to how I am looking to the ways of my household. That time has come for me.
It’s not that I won’t have days where things just need to go with the flow. That’s called life and it is also called grace. But God asks of all wives and mothers to look well to the ways of her home, to be careful as to what is good for them, what edifies them body, mind and soul.

How to Stay Home

Keeping guard over the home is one of those ways she can look well to her family. This is looking at her family’s week and being intentional – almost mathematical – over the times and days of her family. She needs to say yes to some things and no to others. And she doesn’t need to feel guilty or embarrassed about this. I do struggle with this and it is something I need to bring to the Lord. My family are my number one ministry, all things come last. If saying no to certain things is what is needed, then it is good for me to say no without any qualms.
Currently, we are part of no groups {though this is only a recent thing}. Each day I have the freedom to choose how we spend our days. This week we went out for a small time each morning and then spent most of the day at home. I did many meals in the slow cooker so that the dinnertime craziness was lessened. It was much more relaxing for Tim when he came home from work to have me helping with all the tears and cuddles that come in that hour before dinner time {oh, that hour!}.
So my conviction is strong, but sometimes I am weak. By God’s grace, I know that I can keep working on what he has laid on my heart and not condemn myself for on days or weeks that I let my restlessness rule, or my fear of man, or allowing too much into our schedule. Quietly, purposefully and with heart, I keep seeking to anchor our family into our home, the way I can best look well to our home life.
  1. I can completely relate to this post. Oftentimes, our most stressful days are the ones where we are pulled from our home in order do more and more. Finding peace in our homes creates comfort for our family. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. I think you are very wise in being aware of this and choosing to not over-involve yourself. Especially when children are young, but also as they grow, doing too many outside activities can negatively affect family life, even if they are *good* activities. Thank you for sharing this 🙂

  3. Being honest about your shortcomings is hard to do as a blogger, and yet… there is something so powerful about it.. because we all have struggles, and we all fall short in things we know we need to be doing. I think being honest and recognizing the problem, is the major step towards a resolution. And really, it is all about “one day at a time”… don't peer into the future, and worry about tomorrow. Just do today what you know needs to be done, and tomorrow will take care of itself… you have a beautiful family, and being at home is what makes you happy, so don't feel that you have to “keep up with the Jones” , but simply do what you know in your heart is right for you and your family. May the Lord continue to bless you in all you do 🙂

  4. May God help you with this Sarah. I'm in a season of going too much. Since we have one car, and everyone (hubby and teens) need to be somewhere, I tend to be the designated driver. 🙂

    Laura of Harvest Lane Cottage

  5. Wonderful post. I can see you are striving to be an authentic blogger too! Yay!
    Sounds like you are on the path of home-made peace. 😉
    Thanks for linking up with Grace & Truth this week!

  6. I think as Moms, we all have days or weeks like this. We are doing too much, we are not doing enough, and the guilt game starts to play. I think you addressed this beautifully and I am so glad you shared it this week on #SocialButterflySunday! Hope you link up again this week, and have an amazing weekend 🙂

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