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Home: Where a Child Knows No Shame.

December 19, 2015

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Josiah recently stopped wearing nappies and is now a full-blown toilet user {can I get a high five? Whoop!}. Aside from the awesomeness that is this milestone, God has used it to bless me in another way.

This morning, I was making Josiah’s bed after helping him get up on the loo. From the bathroom, all I could hear was this high, sweet, just delightful sing-song voice as our boy sat on the loo, happy-as-larry, completely unaware that this could be in any way, embarrassing. 

A grin just broke out on my face and my chest filled with the glory of love.

How comfortable how freehow completely able — Josiah was to just be himself, half starkers on the loo, without fear, embarrassment or shame to sing while he was doing his toilet thing.

As a parent, I have lost many toilet privileges. It’s not often I can have uninterrupted bathroom time. I have lost any sense of shame or privacy about sitting on the toilet with the door open so my kids can come in and pull things out of the drawers or show me their boo-boo or sit on my lap.

I’m okay with this. In fact, most of the time, there is something sweet about it. We’re family after all, nothing to be embarrassed about.

But the blissfully unaware way our two-year-old sang his songs on top his throne, the door wide open, interspersed by productive silences?

God just impressed upon my heart once again, how beautiful and how simple it is to give our children a home.

My heart felt full that our son feels home here, that he knows nothing else. He knows love, he knows security, he knows what it is to be fully himself – clothes or not – and be safe

How many children are there who don’t know this security? How many children are there that can almost feel no sense of shame or embarrassment that Adam and Eve felt before the Fall? Too many don’t. Oh, Lord, protect their little hearts.

Mothers, make it our aim to provide what every child’s soul needs – the ability to be fully themselves. Embrace their nudey silliness, sing along with their songs sung on the loo, smile as they run to you, proud of their toilet success {or any other such  potentially shame-inducing accomplishment}.

I remember, as a tween, home was the only place safe for me as a bullied schoolgirl. I could endure the days at school only because I knew at home I was safe. I could be me and not have to worry about all the things I was teased for. I cannot imagine what it is like for teens now when, what they endure at school, now comes home with them in the form of the internet and social media. I never had that and it saved me.

Shame is something that will come to our children, as it came to you and to me. But let us never let that awful feeling come from within the walls of our home. Home is safe. It must always be safe. Protect that safety with everything you can.

  1. Their innocent bliss is so sweet. My kids used to run around in their underwear all day…..like there was nothing wrong or unusual about it. We would get dressed to go out but the min we came back through the door they would just strip. Then they just come to this age when all of the sudden they felt the need to be covered up. My heart also breaks for those kids who don’t get the chance to just be themselves.

  2. This story made me smile :). So true! It is easier for really little ones to feel comfortable, no shame and completely themselves- my prayer is that that easy-going, comfortable at home peace will remain with my kids as they get older too.

  3. Love this, Sarah. I am seeking the Lord now to create a home that gives my children (and husband, too) a sense of belonging and rest, a feeble glimmer of the joy and rest that Christians look forward to in our ultimate homecoming.
    Also, I thought you’d get a chuckle out of this… I was reading your article on my computer when my son walked in. He said, “Who is that boy in the picture?” (referring to this post’s image) I paused and said, “Well, I don’t know.” He said, “Is it Jesus?” I told him it was not. “Is it Peter?” “No, it’s not Peter.” “Well then, who is it?” haha 😉

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