The voices that speak to the troubled heart of a woman today are many, subtle and just soul-destroying. And the Greatest Liar of them all? His delight is purely in the downfall of all that was beautifully made in the beginning. He is thrilled and has made fools of us all. Wherever the pendulum swings – male abuse of being a head to the emasculating domination of a she-male – he is behind it all.
The Bible is the only place we can find the hope, the solace, the nourishment, the endorsement, the understanding, the answers, the freedom and the beauty all women today crave. Today, I want to point our struggling hearts to the theology of women being helpmeets. I pray God just sets you free from any lies and snares and doubts about this incredibly holy calling.
“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone, I will make a helper fit for him.'” Genesis 2:18



First, woman was needed.
 
It is easy to gloss over the fact that God said that “it is not good”. We’ve heard that before, haven’t we? My heart can become dull to the fact that nothing in creation had been “not good” until Adam needed a companion. But did you know that the original Hebrew sheds a little more light to the heart of God as He made beautiful Eve?
The Hebrew used for “not good” here means positively bad. And I don’t mean the positively bad that we’ve run out of chocolate in the house! No, when God saw Adam hanging out with his animals, He saw that without companionship, life would have no goodness.
Woman, you are good. You are needed and are just plain lovely and good.
Note too, that it didn’t take God by surprise that Adam was lonely. God didn’t make everything without Eve in mind; rather, he waited until Adam realised himself that he was alone. Adam discerned that he needed someone {Genesis 2:20}.
Second, woman was a helper-partner.

Elyse Fitzpatrick in her book Helper By Design: God’s Perfect Plan For Women in Marriage fleshes out this verse {and surrounding verses} to show that God gave Adam six tasks to do in the Garden: Rule. Relate. Reproduce. Reflect. Rejoice. Rest. She says,

“Adam and Eve were unique in the creation, and although he was made from from the dust of the earth {and Eve wasn’t}, she complemented and corresponded to him. Eve wasn’t some other sort of creature; she wasn’t beneath Adam, nor was she superior to him; but rather she was created as his partner, equally in God’s image and called to glorify Him. pg.35
“Fundamentally, a wife can take steps toward helping her husband by seeking to understand the specific ways in which God has called him to rule, relate, reproduce, reflect, rejoice, and rest.”pg.37
God’s original plan for human kind hasn’t changed. In our spheres of home, work, and other influence, we are called to glorify God and enjoy Him forever by ruling and subduing His creation. Specifically in marriage, a wife’s role is to come alongside her husband and care for him, nurture him, strengthen him, encourage him, rebuke him {when necessary}, love him, and seek to learn him as a person and God’s calling for him.
A wife may have her own form of paid employment. She may be a mother. She will have other pursuits and interests outside the home and that are uniquely her own. That is very needed and God will use her mightily as she submits those things to Him. But, her primary calling if she is married, is to be her husband’s helper.
 
 
Third, woman was called to be like her Father.
When God created woman to be a helper, he wasn’t making a role or calling that was new. God made man and woman in His image and imparted to them characteristics and responsibilities that were part of His nature. {The fact that they are man and woman and need one another differently reflects the very nature of the Trinity.} In fact, God’s call on woman to be a helper was asking her to be like Him.
The very word “helper” in Hebrew is only used twice in the Old Testament. The first is when God created woman, and the rest is in reference to God and His great care of His people, Israel. Mary Kassian in her book Women, Creation and the Fall writes,
“In the creation of female, we see that a doormat or servant-slave was certainly not what God had in mind. God intended to make a counterpart for the man, a vital helper for him, perhaps in much the same sense as God is a helper. pg.17
Do you see that? When God made us to be helpmeets, He gave us a role that He fulfills to His people. This is such an important reason why the argument that women are inferior just does not stand and why our fear of being helpmeets is so sin-laden and culturally influenced. God made us to be helpers like He is. If it is “good enough” for God, why wouldn’t it be for us?
 
“Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul.” Psalm 54:4
“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.” Psalm 28:7
I understand the fear in the hearts of women when they start looking into God’s calling for them. So much of history is blackened by the abuse of men over their women. Yet, so much of history is also littered with women abusing their power of womanhood over men for their own purposes. We mustn’t ever forget that women are sinners and have equally distorted God’s design. 
 
Please don’t think that I have never struggled with this. Please don’t think that there aren’t feminist feelings floating around in my mind. There are and I do struggle. In fact, this has been on my mind recently, my soul has been wrestling with what I believe the Bible teaches to what I hear the world teaching. I am truly flawed. But, I don’t want what the world offers. Look how messed up this place is! I want God and His ways. I want what He has designed and which is lived out perfectly, beautifully and so sacrificially in the Trinity. 
Instead of fearing what isn’t truth, we must fear the Lord, just like Sarah did {1 Peter 3:6}. Not only must we fear Him {respect and honour Him}, we must trust in His ways. We must seek to pursue His very words to us and believe that the fears we hold, the lies we hear are not from Him.
He esteems women greatly because they are made to reflect Him!
He made us because we are wanted and needed!
He created us to nurture just as He nurtures!
He calls us to help as He helps!
No, being a helpmeet does not make us less. And no, being a helpmeet is certainly not beneath us. It is a calling that is godly and requires serious commitment and faithfulness. Being a helpmeet is a holy calling, one that is worked out in the heavens, and can be, by God’s grace, lived out in all Christian marriages.
 

Please share your comments below. I would love to chat about this all.

3 Replies to “Why Being A HelpMeet Is Not Beneath Me {Or You}.”

  1. I entered into marriage with a Christian man, a preachers son no less, 21 years ago. However, I was not Christian woman. Can you imagine the stir that caused. I didn't understand my role. I certainly didn't understand his mother and the way she jumped at her husband s every word. I thought she was a doormat. Until 5 years went by and suddenly Jesus opened my heart and it was all clear. I now pray to be the woman my mother-in-law is and seek with all my heart to be the wife you describe. The struggle is real, but we must continue even when we fail miserably at times, each day is a new opportunity to show agape love.

  2. I have a mother-in-law like yours who is my role model. Praying we can keep pursuing this beautiful design and show others what the Gospel really means in marriage. Thank you for your lovely comment x

  3. I love being my husband's 'help meet'. He needs me! I need him! We can't be married without each other – that just doesn't make sense, does it? We are in our 18th year of marriage and every year I realize even more how much I cherish being his helpmeet…it does not diminish my womanhood at all. In fact, it solidifies it. Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.

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