Intentional Mothering

Making Home The Anchor of Family Life (And The Struggle To Do So)

June 16, 2017

This is an updated post I wrote a few years ago that I would love to share again. Original post here.

As I am growing as a wife and mother, my conviction that our home is the anchor-point of our family’s life deepens. This is from my own broken background, my search of the Scriptures, and just a sense that, in the busy-busy society we live in, children need a safe haven, a place where they feel completely safe, sheltered, and able to grow at their own pace and in their own interests.

Yet, despite conviction, it’s not always easy maintaining the majority of our time at home. There are always errands to run, shopping to be done, church commitments to keep, friendships to grow and interaction with other peers for the children. There always seems to be something that needs to draw me out of the home.

Many times, these outings are necessary. But other times, there is a pressure for me as a mother to be “part of it all”.  Bible studies, play groups, music groups, library groups, coffee groups. So many groups! And there seems to be – though probably totally unintentionally and done totally unawares – that the Christian wife and mother needs to be part of them all. I think for many women, they feel that in order to be a good church member or evangelist, she needs to be out most days and part of all the groups. And, by default, so does her children.

But is this really being faithful stewards of our time? Is this really being a supportive helpmeet to our husbands? And is this really beneficial for our children?

Looking Well?

Recently, the Lord has been laying on my heart this verse from the Proverbs 31 woman:

She looks well to the ways of her household, and she doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.” (v.27)

I really have a heart for desiring to do what the Lord wants of me. Not because I’m perfect, or legalistic, or proud. I just love Him and want to please Him in all I do. And, aside from salvation, the greatest gift He has given me has been the gift of wifedom and motherhood. He knew how much I desired these things, and they were a pure gift to me. I treasure them deeply.

So, in thankfulness, I look to examine my ways to see if there is anything that would be unpleasing to Him. And with these incredible gifts He has given me, I need to see if I am looking well to the ways of my household – that is, caring properly for my husband, children, and home.

And I know that, when I am out most days, our home life falls to the wayside. I get tired, the kids get grumpy and out of whack, I have less energy or motivation to work hard, and I tend to leave my dear man to his own devices.

How to Stay Home

Keeping guard over the home is one of those ways a wife can look well to her family. This is looking at her family’s week and being intentional  – or even ruthless – over the times and days of her family. She needs to say yes to some things and no to others. And she doesn’t need to feel guilty or embarrassed about this! She is doing her job well. She is glorifying God by numbering her days in wisdom (Psalm 92:12).

Currently, we are committed to a gymnastics class on a Thursday afternoon. This means that, each day, we have the freedom to choose how we spend our days. And, if we do go out, I make sure that it’s only for part of the morning or afternoon. This means that the majority of my time is free to work at home and spend time pressing deeper into motherhood.
So my conviction is strong, but I am sometimes weak. By God’s grace, I know I can keep working on what I believe is looking well to our home. When I over-schedule myself and fall into exhaustion, I know He will help me get back on track. Quietly, purposefully, and with heart, I keep seeking to anchor our family into our home, the way I cam best look well to our home life.
  1. This is something that I, too, seek to be intentional about. I find that the days we are home, things go more smoothly. We can keep our routines, tend to the home, and allow time for childhood and creativity. The children thrive at home, and I often have to remind myself that it’s okay to not be “out there” all the time. Shifting my perspective has opened the door to a new love for home and a deep appreciation for my roles as a wife and mother.

    Thank you for this post. I always enjoy reading your blog.

    1. I totally get that – “Shifting my perspective has opened the door to a new love for home and a deep appreciation for my roles as a wife and mother”. Yes! I am the same. Thank you, Veronica. You bless me too x

  2. Sarah thank you so much for writing these encouraging, sound words that help encourage me that I am not being rude or anti social when I decide we {my family} may need to sit ‘this’ one out and be at home .. our home is our kingdom, and the Lord put us as the over-seers of it.
    Bless you Sarah, and your family.
    I am visiting you today from Grace and Truth link up

    1. Jennifer, thank you for encouraging ME! You are doing exactly the right thing for those whom have been given into your care. Thank you for visiting and leaving such a lovely comment, hugs! x

  3. “My conviction is strong, but I am sometimes weak” You took the words from my mouth. Although I would say I am mostly weak. I try to get on with the chores for the day but seem to just lollygag around. UGH! I feel so horrible that my husband is out working and I am here so ho hum with my days. Its just so hard to find the energy. However, I realize I am making excuses for myself, and am trying to do better in babysteps. I think having a routine or dare I say schedule, for the day helps.

    1. Danielle, I am so with you. Trust me. It’s a long journey and a battle with our nature. But God is good and so gracious. He really does give us strength and energy when we ask for it. Remember we’re working for Him and He’s our Boss 🙂 Thank you for being honest and vulnerable, I think you’re less alone than you think.

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